La Ronde: Where "Bad Girls" Come from

If there's one experience I'd like to save you all from, it's heartbreak. Heartbreak is the "bitter" part of the bittersweet circus of emotion I've dubbed "La Ronde".

I want to say "where did all the good, loyal girls go? The ones that said they'd never leave and meant it."

Then I remember that they all actually start like that.. Innocent, sweet and unaware of "the game". Until they get cheated on, by YOU (the one they first gave their heart too) Until we turn them into monsters that is, or "bad bitches" as they like to be called. They take everything you taught them (including mostly why they shouldn't give their heart away) and they become cold and guarded. Poor next guy in line! You have to deal with that wall before she lets you in. But poorer first guy, for knowing he created a monster and set her loose to break hearts the way you did hers. That can make one feel guilty, but mostly a bitter kind of lonely, since he can't justify the complaining he is so eager to engage in. 

As bitter as it indeed is, heartbreak, misfortune and loss preceding happily-ever-after is one of the best recipes for marital (assuming you'd get married) success. Why in the world would it benefit someone to get their heart broken before they find the one? Because it is a golden-rule of sorts that: it is significantly less likely that someone who has experienced great loss will take good times for granted, 

I often go on tangents talking about how I've experienced several highs and lows in love with different loves and that it has shaped me into the well rounded lover I am today and it's true. It truly, truly has.. I am still learning though, that part doesn't ever end.

Still, I mind myself looking back at what I just had, like Usher & Diddy "needing a girl" and "so sick of love songs" like Ne-yo.

Quoting some different lines from songs.. (The following four quotes being my form of venting.. Seeing as how I can't legitimize saying anything myself): See if you can name that tune..

1) "I can see it in your eyes: you’re angry
Regret got shit on what you’re feeling now
Mad cause he ain’t like me
Oh you mad cause nobody ever did it like me
All the care I would take,
All the love that we made
Now you’re trying to find somebody to replace what I gave to you
It’s a shame you didn’t keep it: Alicia, Katia
I know that you gon' hear this: I’m the man
Yeah I said it!
Bitch I’m the man
Don’t you forget it
The way you walk – that’s me
The way you talk – that’s me
The way you’ve got your hair up: did you forget that’s me?
And the voice in your speaker right now – that’s me (that's me)
And the voice in your ear – that’s me
Can’t you see that I made it? Yeah I made it
First I made you who you are, then I made it
And you’re wasted with your ladies
Yeah I’m the reason why you always getting faded..Take a shot for me"

2) " I've seen all the scenes in this movie, and she blows  it in the end,"

3) "I'm always up too late, I worry 'bout you there alone

In that place you call your home, warm nights and cold Patron

I hope that you don't get known for nothing crazy

Cause no man ever wants to hear those stories bout his lady

I know they say the first love is the sweetest but that first cut is the deepest

I tried to keep us together, you were busy keeping secrets

Secrets you were telling everybody but me

Don't be fooled by the money I'm just young and unlucky, I'm surpised you couldn't tell."

4) "And I heard you're doing you, and you heard I'm doing betterAnd all I had to do was put two and two togetherBut that just makes four, but not four-ever, damnSo much for being the perfect coupleI put in overtime, I was working doublesI wish you the best, good luck booWeezy F, for "Fuck you"

4a) "And if I sound mad then you caught me, but this s*** explains exactly how you taught me  _ _ _    _ _     _ _ _ _    _    _ _ _ _ _"

Wow did it ever feel good getting those feelings out there!! #venting #backtotheblog

I was planning on ranting. I was planning on complaining because I hate sleeping alone, because she moved away and it got hard, because emotionally alone is so much worse than physically alone, because I tested her when she said "I'll always love you, I'll never leave."

And then Big Sean puts out "beware"

And I don't need to say shit. Please, please read these lyrics.. I swear this guy is composing the soundtrack for my life.

Lyrics below:

[Hook: Big Sean & Jhene Aiko]

When you said it was over

You shot right through my heart

Why you let these hoes tear what we had right apart

Oooh, I was so mad

I should've seen this coming right from the start

You should beware, beware, beware of a woman with a broken heart

[Verse 1: Big Sean]

Praying to a sky all black

Looking at the stars like they finna talk back

Looking at my phone like she finna call back

But last night I feel like probably ended all that

Cause by now she woulda sent a text in all caps

Then another one tryna take all back

Saying fuck you, I miss you or I hate you so much

Cause girls only say "hate you" to the guys they love

I know, I know, I know

The highs, the lows it comes and goes

You say "be real" I try, I don't

Cause you take anything and just make it everything

Kept my phone on silent ever since you got a ring (funny right?)

And I never cheated (I mean, maybe once, twice)

One time don't change everything

She ask why I don't feel the same, I'm still the same

She's still insane and now she's saying

[Hook]

[Verse 2: Big Sean]

Okay, skeet, smoke

Sleep, call

Miss, text

Woke, spoke

Lie, feel, Lisa ew

Time, kill, months, still

I got somebody baby mama calling me daddy

I drank too much, please call me a cabby

Penthouse after party hoes want that addy

Fuck they can ride with us, crawl in a Caddy

Third row is when you call, I hit cancel

Really? I hit answer, fuck I hate when that happens

Phone in my pocket for the whole night

And you heard bitches screamin' til my phone dies

Then she text me like "why you still talk to my mama?"

How the fuck you run around with condoms?

Why you make me get this tattoo?

Man, fuck this tattoo you the reason I wasn't single in college

What? All because I had you

Nigga I dont even have you

How am I suppose to get past you?

And she called the next guy spillin' some real shit

Now they problems he got to deal with

[Hook]

[Verse 3: Lil Wayne]

Girl, don't believe them hoes

Cause they don't wanna see us together

And you already know you're too fly

But baby, don't get your hair caught in the propellers

I be tryna tell her these hoes is jealous

You know they never like it when you never say never

Long hair, red bone, but her p**** is hairless

Muah, I french kiss it like we in Paris

I be screaming out, "ain't no woman like the one I got"

But she be always worrying about the one I f*****

She said it's gonna be me, myself and I

Damn, that would make me a one-eyed fuck

Sch, I was so mad

Damn, you used to ride a nigga like a moped pad sch--

But players fuck up, my bad

And just to keep from crying, I laughed

[Hook]

[Outro x2: Jhene Aiko]

Baby, last time calling me baby

Last time calling me crazy

Crazy, crazy

#Gold #goldenthoughts