The Difference Between Good & Great (people, athletes, students, employees, leaders & lovers)

The Difference Between Good and Great

Firstly I must pay complete homage to one of the newest and yet most influential people in my life, Mr. Drew Dudley.  Mr. Dudley is a motivational speaker who I had the pleasure of listening to this past Saturday at a retreat. While everything he said was influential, one key point raised was the notion that good people are people who take advantage of opportunities to be good people, while great people created opportunities to be good people. Very quotable! So quotable in fact, I quoted him at again at the conclusion of this post and in my most recent Facebook status.

I recently spoke with one of the people in my inner circle about the difference between being good and great.  We explored just how applicable the notion was in everyday life and were amazed.. The difference is first established between good and great people, however it also applies to good and great athletes, good and great students, good and great employees, leaders and most interestingly to me: good and great lovers.

You see, a good athlete attends practice when he or she is “supposed to” while a great athlete trains outside of practice (and in a variety of different ways). A good student attends class and maybe even reviews before a big test while a great student studies every day. A good employee shows up on time and does their job while a great employee stays late and comes in early. A good leader leads when people ask for a leader; the great leader creates opportunities for himself to be a leader. Lastly the good and great lovers… This one actually cleared up a lot for me, and it’s weird because I’m the one who said it: a good lover will tell you look beautiful when you are dressed up or just got a haircut, they will bring you flowers or gifts for anniversaries etc. A great lover will call you beautiful or handsome daily, even when you look your worst. Furthermore great lover will bring you flowers, not for an anniversary, just because they can.

The person I spoke with about this, that inspired the blog wasn’t sure if they were even good, far less great. I wish all readers to know that even if you haven’t been great up until now, you can begin to be great in this very moment and set the tone for the rest of your life. You do NOT need to begin with being good, this is not a transitional thing. Decide you want to be great at one or all of these things, and embody that.

“Good people are people who take advantage of opportunities to be good people, while great people created opportunities to be good people.”

#goldenthoughts

Regards,
Kyle  Denzel Rose

La Ronde: Where "Bad Girls" Come from

If there's one experience I'd like to save you all from, it's heartbreak. Heartbreak is the "bitter" part of the bittersweet circus of emotion I've dubbed "La Ronde".

I want to say "where did all the good, loyal girls go? The ones that said they'd never leave and meant it."

Then I remember that they all actually start like that.. Innocent, sweet and unaware of "the game". Until they get cheated on, by YOU (the one they first gave their heart too) Until we turn them into monsters that is, or "bad bitches" as they like to be called. They take everything you taught them (including mostly why they shouldn't give their heart away) and they become cold and guarded. Poor next guy in line! You have to deal with that wall before she lets you in. But poorer first guy, for knowing he created a monster and set her loose to break hearts the way you did hers. That can make one feel guilty, but mostly a bitter kind of lonely, since he can't justify the complaining he is so eager to engage in. 

As bitter as it indeed is, heartbreak, misfortune and loss preceding happily-ever-after is one of the best recipes for marital (assuming you'd get married) success. Why in the world would it benefit someone to get their heart broken before they find the one? Because it is a golden-rule of sorts that: it is significantly less likely that someone who has experienced great loss will take good times for granted, 

I often go on tangents talking about how I've experienced several highs and lows in love with different loves and that it has shaped me into the well rounded lover I am today and it's true. It truly, truly has.. I am still learning though, that part doesn't ever end.

Still, I mind myself looking back at what I just had, like Usher & Diddy "needing a girl" and "so sick of love songs" like Ne-yo.

Quoting some different lines from songs.. (The following four quotes being my form of venting.. Seeing as how I can't legitimize saying anything myself): See if you can name that tune..

1) "I can see it in your eyes: you’re angry
Regret got shit on what you’re feeling now
Mad cause he ain’t like me
Oh you mad cause nobody ever did it like me
All the care I would take,
All the love that we made
Now you’re trying to find somebody to replace what I gave to you
It’s a shame you didn’t keep it: Alicia, Katia
I know that you gon' hear this: I’m the man
Yeah I said it!
Bitch I’m the man
Don’t you forget it
The way you walk – that’s me
The way you talk – that’s me
The way you’ve got your hair up: did you forget that’s me?
And the voice in your speaker right now – that’s me (that's me)
And the voice in your ear – that’s me
Can’t you see that I made it? Yeah I made it
First I made you who you are, then I made it
And you’re wasted with your ladies
Yeah I’m the reason why you always getting faded..Take a shot for me"

2) " I've seen all the scenes in this movie, and she blows  it in the end,"

3) "I'm always up too late, I worry 'bout you there alone

In that place you call your home, warm nights and cold Patron

I hope that you don't get known for nothing crazy

Cause no man ever wants to hear those stories bout his lady

I know they say the first love is the sweetest but that first cut is the deepest

I tried to keep us together, you were busy keeping secrets

Secrets you were telling everybody but me

Don't be fooled by the money I'm just young and unlucky, I'm surpised you couldn't tell."

4) "And I heard you're doing you, and you heard I'm doing betterAnd all I had to do was put two and two togetherBut that just makes four, but not four-ever, damnSo much for being the perfect coupleI put in overtime, I was working doublesI wish you the best, good luck booWeezy F, for "Fuck you"

4a) "And if I sound mad then you caught me, but this s*** explains exactly how you taught me  _ _ _    _ _     _ _ _ _    _    _ _ _ _ _"

Wow did it ever feel good getting those feelings out there!! #venting #backtotheblog

I was planning on ranting. I was planning on complaining because I hate sleeping alone, because she moved away and it got hard, because emotionally alone is so much worse than physically alone, because I tested her when she said "I'll always love you, I'll never leave."

And then Big Sean puts out "beware"

And I don't need to say shit. Please, please read these lyrics.. I swear this guy is composing the soundtrack for my life.

Lyrics below:

[Hook: Big Sean & Jhene Aiko]

When you said it was over

You shot right through my heart

Why you let these hoes tear what we had right apart

Oooh, I was so mad

I should've seen this coming right from the start

You should beware, beware, beware of a woman with a broken heart

[Verse 1: Big Sean]

Praying to a sky all black

Looking at the stars like they finna talk back

Looking at my phone like she finna call back

But last night I feel like probably ended all that

Cause by now she woulda sent a text in all caps

Then another one tryna take all back

Saying fuck you, I miss you or I hate you so much

Cause girls only say "hate you" to the guys they love

I know, I know, I know

The highs, the lows it comes and goes

You say "be real" I try, I don't

Cause you take anything and just make it everything

Kept my phone on silent ever since you got a ring (funny right?)

And I never cheated (I mean, maybe once, twice)

One time don't change everything

She ask why I don't feel the same, I'm still the same

She's still insane and now she's saying

[Hook]

[Verse 2: Big Sean]

Okay, skeet, smoke

Sleep, call

Miss, text

Woke, spoke

Lie, feel, Lisa ew

Time, kill, months, still

I got somebody baby mama calling me daddy

I drank too much, please call me a cabby

Penthouse after party hoes want that addy

Fuck they can ride with us, crawl in a Caddy

Third row is when you call, I hit cancel

Really? I hit answer, fuck I hate when that happens

Phone in my pocket for the whole night

And you heard bitches screamin' til my phone dies

Then she text me like "why you still talk to my mama?"

How the fuck you run around with condoms?

Why you make me get this tattoo?

Man, fuck this tattoo you the reason I wasn't single in college

What? All because I had you

Nigga I dont even have you

How am I suppose to get past you?

And she called the next guy spillin' some real shit

Now they problems he got to deal with

[Hook]

[Verse 3: Lil Wayne]

Girl, don't believe them hoes

Cause they don't wanna see us together

And you already know you're too fly

But baby, don't get your hair caught in the propellers

I be tryna tell her these hoes is jealous

You know they never like it when you never say never

Long hair, red bone, but her p**** is hairless

Muah, I french kiss it like we in Paris

I be screaming out, "ain't no woman like the one I got"

But she be always worrying about the one I f*****

She said it's gonna be me, myself and I

Damn, that would make me a one-eyed fuck

Sch, I was so mad

Damn, you used to ride a nigga like a moped pad sch--

But players fuck up, my bad

And just to keep from crying, I laughed

[Hook]

[Outro x2: Jhene Aiko]

Baby, last time calling me baby

Last time calling me crazy

Crazy, crazy

#Gold #goldenthoughts 

Time & Perspective

Time is quite the concept. Termed in an effort to attach permanence to something that has none; time is the ever present plateau upon which experience occurs (you cannot have one without the other):

"Time moves forward whether you wish it to or not
To dwell on the past is to become a slave to it.
However to forget the past is to allow it to reoccur (of course never in the exact same way)"
-(Paraphrasing quotes I've heard over the years)

Time has taught me a lot in my 22 years, chiefly in the last year I have come to realize some universals that make life easier to live. Although it is a  simple fact, I am truly intrigued by the fact that everyone has their own story. By this I refer to the fact that until somewhat recently, the people that I have come into my life have always been viewed as just that: "people who came into my life". Never did I stop to realize that in their mind pages are being filled in the story of their lives, where I am a secondary character at best. Martin Buber refers to the fact that we often objectify the people we interact with on a daily basis, offering small talk without genuine interest and without acknowledging them as people i.e. when you get on the bus and ask the bus driver how he is doing, do you REALLY expect him to say anything other than "I'm doing great, thank you for asking!"  ...Didn't think so!

It's clear to me now that everyone is the main character of their own story, always the protagonist, never the  bad guy.

(I could write a whole blog about how it is completely up to YOU the main character of YOUR story to decide whether your life is a comedy, horror, action-thriller, love story or romantic comedy like mine, however I shall resist for now )

The second realization is that nurture and and experience are the two biggest influences on a persons character (traits, likes, dislikes). These things equate perspective. If you're going to take one thing from this blog, let it be this: We must reserve judgement of others as people for the simple fact that we are unable to factor all the experiences that led them to doing the things that they have done.

A few personal examples of this?? (possible answers in brackets)

Have you ever been upset with someone driving slowly infront of you? (Maybe they are a lost. Maybe they are old/confused)

Have any guys out there dated a girl who's parents didn't love you?? (Maybe they are scared of sharing/trusting something they love and have invested their time in with a relative stranger)

Have you ever tried to get to know someone who wouldn't let their guard down? (Maybe they have experienced/witness people getting hurt and want to protect their feelings. Maybe they are scared because they know things could get serious.)

"Let him who would enjoy a good future waste none of his present." - Roger Babson

"If you don't have time to do it right, when will you have time to do it over?" -John Wooden

"How come you don't make time for me anymore?"

"It takes time to learn from mistakes"

"Time heals all wounds"

"Everything happens to everybody sooner or later if there is time enough." -George Bernard Shaw

"Waste your money and you're only out of money, waste your time and you've lost a part of your life."
-Michael LeBeoeuf

And Lastly,

"Time is what we want most, but what we use worst." -William Penn

**********
To the reader: Hope you enjoyed.. More blogs on the way, more frequently :)
#GoldenThoughts